The term “narcissist” is often freely bandied around, but what does it really mean? In this fascinating essay, Diana Kwon discovers that—like many things— it is a broad spectrum with several nuances. Kwon makes psychology easily digestible and will show you narcissism is not necessarily what you think it is.

But chances are you’ve encountered a narcissist, and they looked nothing like Trump, Musk or Modi. Up to 6 percent of the U.S. population, mostly men, is estimated to have had narcissistic personality disorder during some period of their lives. And the condition manifests in confoundingly different ways.