[Nuriddin] acknowledges that she is lucky to have a job that allows her to work remotely, and that a lot of people, including many of those from her parents’ generation, don’t. She’s trying to convince her cousins to find work that will allow them to live outside of the country.

Like many Black expats here, she’s still learning Spanish. She communicates easily with the English-speaking descendants of Jamaicans, but talking to other Costa Ricans is hard. Still, she says she feels a mutual recognition when she locks eyes with Black locals. “There’s almost a little glimmer in the eye when you look at each other,” she said. “There’s like a little nod.”

It was a life of getting to places fast, of tips, winks and confidences. Verzi drove a VW Beetle and traveled with cameras and colored index cards for autographs. He’d get a nod that Frank Sinatra might be in Beverly Hills having a drink or Lucille Ball was playing backgammon at Pips or Jim Morrison of the Doors had arrived at a West Hollywood theater to see “The Beard,” a play that was raided by police for a sex scene. Verzi kept tabs and followed whispers.

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I don’t talk about my Horse Girl era much.

Maybe it’s because of the assumptions I fear people will make about me based on the cultural stereotype. Maybe it’s because I feel other childhood obsessions — sled dogs, Greek mythology, the Redwall series, various Nintendo franchises — had a more formative impact on the adult I became. Maybe it’s because my time as a Horse Girl felt so brief and casual compared to the denim-jacketed diehards that define said stereotype; as if I was merely a pony poseur, not a true Horse Girl. 

But I cannot deny that from the ages of roughly 7 to 10, I was fully, unapologetically, a Horse Girl. 

Here’s what I remember: Listening to the audiobook (back when they truly were “books on tape”) of Misty of Chincoteague on a family road trip. The trail ride in Estes Park, Colorado when I was 7 — probably the happiest day of my life. The sirenic allure of the bright pink and blue Grand Champions collectible boxes. The thick Dorling Kindersley breed guide I read over and over again, cover to cover, memorizing every detail; I could tell you the difference between a Russian Don and a Budyonny, although I definitely couldn’t today. The one summer I attempted a riding camp, with the mustiness, the satisfaction of cleaning the muck from a hoof, and Coley, the small, curmudgeonly black mare who kicked if you didn’t approach her right and who I loved with every fiber of my head-in-the-clouds being. 

Over the past several years, there’s been plenty of writing exploring our cultural obsession with the idea of the Horse Girl. This identity holds so much — in examinations of Horse Girls, we find odes to untamed femininity, searing indictments of insularity and privilege, and a swinging pendulum between romantic nostalgia and reality. She is both the awkward and O-M-G-relatable Tina Belcher from Bob’s Burgers and a stirring voice in the poetry of Ada Limón. In 2021, Electric Literature executive editor Halimah Marcus edited a collection of essays reclaiming and recasting the stereotype; two pieces from that collection are included on this list, along with some other favorites that explore the idea of the Horse Girl and the bond at its center. So saddle up and enjoy.

An Autistic Girl’s Guide to Horses (Katie Rose Pryal, Catapult, December 2022)

Katie Rose Pryal was diagnosed with autism in 2020, at the age of 44. Upon receiving her diagnosis, she writes, much of her childhood “came into focus,” particularly her special interest in horses. Around the same time as she recognized her autism, she was learning how to ride again, with her horse, Leroy. Her bond with Leroy intertwines with her further understanding of her own self and experiences. The resulting reflection is introspective and healing. 

For an autistic person, to be able to communicate, to touch, to care, all without fear, is a gift. Too often, our words, our very actualities, are rejected. With Leroy, I could share all of my secrets, spoken or unspoken, and he would listen with one fuzzy ear cocked in my direction. I could drape my body across his back and rest my head on his side, listening to the slow beat of his heart, steady as the dirt beneath our feet. Even when his coat was glossy, I could brush him, aligning each tiny red hair across his flank.

Black Californians Have Long Celebrated Cowboy Culture. We’re Just Catching Up. (Tyrone Beason, Los Angeles Times, December 2022) 

Beason profiles riders of all genders for this gorgeous feature for the Times’ “My Country” series, so I’m choosing to count it for this list. This piece takes readers on a journey from the bucking thrill of the Bill Pickett Invitational Rodeo, an event celebrating Black cowboys and cowgirls, to a peaceful morning at the end of a trail ride on a Northern California farm —  a painful past being reclaimed to the celebratory current zeitgeist of Lil Nas X and Beyonce. Come for the stories of Black joy and community; stay for Jason Armond’s stunning photos. 

It originated as an epithet used to demean Black cattle drivers and ranch hands, who made up as much as a quarter of all such workers in the Southwest in the late 1800s, says Boyd-Pates. When Black men call themselves ‘cowboys’ and Black women refer to themselves as ‘cowgirls,’ Boyd-Pates says, they take pride in being able to transform a painful history into something they can glorify.

Finland’s Hobbyhorse Girls, Once a Secret Society, Now Prance in Public (Ellen Barry, New York Times, April 2019) 

Barry’s dispatch from Helsinki is not the first exploration of the community around hobbyhorsing, a sport in which adolescent girls trot, hurdle, and race astride wooden toy horses. The hobbyhorse girls of Finland have been the subject of viral videos, documentaries, and trend pieces — both praised as unique confidence-builders, and derided for being too childish, or worse, cringe. 

What happens when the hobbyhorse girl grows up, though? One of the key voices in Barry’s exploration is Alisa Aarniomaki, a spokeswoman for the sport who is now in her early twenties. Through profiling those who have stuck with the hobby, even as they grow into teenagers and young adults, Barry highlights the importance of the community to its members and how we may all need a space to safely rekindle our sense of childlike joy. Cringe is dead, the earth above it tamped by thousands of imagined hoofbeats. Long live the earnest pursuit of wonder. 

Once, she was invited to a party in France where adult guests were given hobbyhorses, provided as a way, she said, ‘to run away from your boring and maybe exhausting normal life.’ The one thing that drives her crazy, she added, is when people describe her hobbyhorse pursuit as playing. ‘If someone says we are playing, it strips away everything we made, it strips away the reality.’

Horse Girl (Heather Radtke, The Believer, February 2019)

It is a truth universally acknowledged that if one is a Horse Girl, one must have a favored Horse Girl book or series. These are often pillars of the genre, standalones like Black Beauty or series like The Saddle Club, Pony Pals, or Thoroughbred. 

As a former Marguerite Henry girlie (if you were also a big King of the Wind fan as a child, know that I see you and I love you), I was thrilled to see a dispatch from the famed Chincoteague Island Pony Swim, an event that has captured the imaginations of Horse Girls ever since its appearance in the iconic Horse Girl novel Misty of Chincoteague. 

In its encapsulation of the wild, murky, and sometimes uncomfortable space between two ideas, Radtke’s reflection on her visit to Chincoteague feels like the pony swim itself. As the horses make their perilous journey between islands, we find ourselves in the messy middle space between hazy nostalgia and harsh reality, wonder and horror, the desire for something to exist in our imaginations as both unclaimable and wild, and as an accepting friend. 

Watching the scene asked me to hold two truths at once. The ponies are wild creatures that, like deer or raccoons, need to be managed. But in the mythology of the swim, the ponies are also presented as transcendent companions, animals who might offer up their manes for braiding and their backs for riding. Here, the ponies were both docile pets and feral beasts, animals that need to be convinced to swim so they might be ridden by little girls.

Horse Girl: An Inquiry (Carmen Maria Machado, excerpted for Them from Horse Girls, edited by Halimah Marcus, August 2021)

The Horse Girl stereotype is associated with privilege — whiteness, wealth, thinness, hyper-femininity — despite, as Carmen Maria Machado points out, a multitude of non-white riding cultures and traditions. Typically, when thinking of Horse Girls, we project our collective assumptions about what a Horse Girl is or isn’t, and mix in our own desires or insecurities. 

Machado’s contribution to Marcus’s anthology explores identities and desire — those we cultivate, like the author’s wish to be around horses and burgeoning queerness, and those projected onto us as an assumption, fetishization, or other intrusion. (In one section, she notes she is “exasperated” that this essay includes, among other things, inappropriate comments from older men and sexual innuendo.) In a stunning personal inquiry, Machado tracks that desire, from a covert moment with a coveted toy horse to briefly revisiting riding as an out queer adult. 

There are so many moments that will stick with me from reading this that it’s hard to pick just one, but a particularly intriguing parallel she makes is between horses having barn names and show names and the magic people find in names for drag or roller derby.

Are Unicorns Horses? Unicorns are horses that can only be ridden by virgins. 

Are Horses Unicorns? Horses don’t care what you’ve done, or what’s been done to you.

What Are Horses? A species of odd-toed, ungulate mammal, primarily domesticated, belonging to the taxonomic family Equidae. Useful, expensive, dangerous. Beautiful.

How Horses Helped My Ancestors Evade Colonizers, & Helped Me Find Myself (Braudie Blais-Billie, excerpted for Bustle from Horse Girls, edited by Halimah Marcus, July 2021)

Braudie Blais-Billie’s connection to horses derives from both sides of her family: She describes the thrill of watching barrel racing at the Seminole rodeo with her paternal grandmother and feeding apples to her maternal grandparents’ horses at their home in rural Québec. Her great-grandfather, she learns, was a prominent Seminole cattleman. 

In addition to reflecting on her family’s deep connection to horses and how it shaped her identity, Blais-Billie digs deeper into the history of Seminole resistance to colonization, and the role that the shared knowledge of horses and cattle husbandry played in their survival. It’s a reminder that the bond between humans and horses has been about more than childhood fantasy as displayed on Trapper-Keeper stickers — it’s been a means of resistance and resilience, of deep connection to one’s history, culture, and community. (Also, at a time of attempts to repress teaching histories of non-white and other marginalized peoples in the U.S., it’s a reminder of the power that comes in keeping those histories and stories accessible.) 

Tia and I have settled on the loose term ‘Seminole horse girl.’ It seems simple, but the specificity allows just enough space for the intricacies of our biracial identity. Like the Seminole peoples, ‘Seminole horse girls’ originates from a conglomeration of cultures adapting to their environment; sometimes not belonging to one group exclusively can be empowering. I’ve found that, in our family, horseback riding is more than show titles and prestigious stables — horses are how we survive.

I Entered the World’s Longest, Loneliest Horse Race on a Whim, and I Won (Lara Prior-Palmer, Longreads, May 2019)

The Mongol Derby is a test of will for even the most experienced rider, a grueling 1000-kilometer (621-mile) run recreating the messenger route of Genghis Khan through a variety of terrain on semi-wild horses. Riders change horses every 40 km, which means less exhaustion for the horses but an even greater challenge for the riders, who switch horses just as they’ve grown accustomed to the quarter-ton beast under them. In 2013, British equestrian Lara Prior-Palmer became the first woman to win this equine gauntlet, which she writes about in her memoir, Rough Magic, excerpted here for Longreads.

Those looking for the visceral awe of the race itself will have to read Prior-Palmer’s memoir in its entirety, but what makes this section so engrossing is the strong sense of place. We’re with her as she finds herself lost in the “concrete nowheres” of London, then in the green expanse outside Ulaanbaatar, and inside her mind as she longs for the adventure and freedom so often romanticized within the Horse Girl canon. As she trains by riding bareback through a field of ragwort — at full gallop, gripping the horse with all her strength — it’s hard not to feel that dangerous thrill, that reminder of why these animals have such a chokehold on our imaginations. 

I was expecting quite the holiday — a green steppe stuffed full of feisty ponies, with hunky riders from all over the world. One to trump the sightseeing and sunbathing holidays I was used to… By the time I applied for the Derby, I was no longer keen on touring the world’s buildings with awestruck stares. My thighs were strong and my heart was raw, yearning for my own motion.

My Little Pony Broke All of the ‘Girl Toy’ Rules (Seanan McGuire, Polygon, November 2020)

As there is for all the semi-universal phenomena of millennial and Gen-Z childhoods, there’s a TikTok about this. In a clip that has been seen more than 1.5 million times, user @funkyfrogbait compares how people think girls play with toys (bubbly, idle chat about shopping) with how they actually play with toys, wherein wide-eyed plastic critters become players in a harrowing trial before a shadowy council. The comments are full of affirmations, memories of Barbies in divorce court, Polly Pocket murder mysteries, and even re-enacting the sinking of the Titanic with Littlest Pet Shop toys. 

It’s difficult for a child of the ’80s or later to imagine this kind of narrative-heavy pretend play, full of high fantasy and even higher stakes, as being out of reach. My own childhood memories are spotted with dramatic courtroom scenes with stuffed animals and battlefield epics with Beanie Babies. But in this essay for Polygon’s “Horse Girl Canon” package, Seanan McGuire explores how My Little Pony, a fantasy-focused toy line “for girls,” shaped the way we still play today. It’s a fascinating look at the cultural significance of the toys, and their evolution from a realistic companion for horse girls with aspirations of stables to juggernaut — a rainbow-tinted powerhouse that sparked imaginations at a time when only “boy toys” were centered on this kind of fantastical play. (Of course, as McGuire correctly notes, the American toy industry still enforces a rigid gender binary, but kids of all genders have always enjoyed “girl toys” like My Little Pony.)

The 1980s were a time of fantasy adventures for children, with little attention paid by the censors to anything that had been preemptively dismissed as an attempt to sell toys… Death was generally off-screen, but it was present, and dangers were both real and manifest in the worlds we were told our toys and imaginary friends inhabited. But at the time of My Little Pony’s launch, all the grand, sweeping adventure was reserved for the blue side of the toy aisle, intended for the male** audience. Toys aimed at girls were much more likely to be domestic in nature, filled with baby dolls and pretend kitchens — in other words, training them for adulthood.

People Ask Me to Write About Horses (Adrienne Celt, Tin House, June 2018)

Author Adrienne Celt achieved what most Horse Girls only manifest in fantastical notebook scribblings: owning a real live horse. But like most things romanticized from afar, reality can be bumpy — horse ownership is messy, expensive, and can be heartbreaking. Celt tenderly reflects on what draws “rational adults” to horses, and on her emboldening bond and uncertain future with her own horse, Lady. 

Celt admits that reflecting on the pain points of horse ownership sounds like #ChampagneProblems, but it’s, as always, about more than that. It’s an essay on horses and their romanticization, but also an essay about seeking and pursuing joy, digging your heels in and spurring it on, chasing it cantering into the wind. 

Of course, when I say that horses are romantic, I mean for people who don’t spend much time with them. To most actual horse people, the animals lose their mystique rather quickly. On farms and ranches they’re beasts of burden, livestock of the same order as cows or pigs or dogs or goats. To a pleasure rider like me, they’re funny and corporeal: they fart in your face when you try to pick their back feet, and get scared when they see things out of the corners of their eyes, thinking that any abandoned truck tire or garden hose is about to kill them.

Who Gets To Be an Equestrian? (Rita Omokha, Elle, October 2020) 

As millions of people took to the streets following the murder of George Floyd in 2020, so began a reckoning over anti-Black racism in many sectors and communities, including equestrians. In June 2020, teen equestrian Sophie Gochman wrote an essay for The Chronicle of the Horse, calling out the race and class privilege of the community; a white trainer responded in the same publication with defensiveness and condescension while quoting MLK. Rita Omokha continues this necessary conversation, speaking with Black women equestrians about the discrimination they face — both overt and systemic — and how they are working to make the sport more welcoming. 

Omokha’s thoughtful profile of Black equestrians serves as a reminder that should undergird conversations about representation in any community or sport. Behind this discourse, you’ll find real people with real passion and expertise, paying a real human cost (be it financial, emotional, or otherwise) that they should never have had to pay. Omokha takes care to discuss the struggle of being “one of the few,” and the conflict between excelling in the world you love, and, as equestrian Shaquilla Blake puts it, “whitewashing [yourself]” to do so. 

Under the shade, the air thick with the scent of manure, they take a moment to catch their breath before the day’s trail rides begin. As Blake cools off, she feels a tug at her dreadlocks. “Can you feel that?” a giddy voice says from behind her. It belongs to a 13-year-old girl whose profile matches what Blake calls “your typical equestrian”—namely, wealthy and white. Can I feel that?? Of course I can! You just yanked the hell out of my dreads!

Lindsay Eanet is a Chicago-based writer, editor & performer. Her writing has been featured at Polygon, Longreads, Serious Eats, Block Club Chicago & others. But enough about her, let’s talk about you. 

Editor: Carolyn Wells
Copy-editor: Peter Rubin

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A year in the life of a grieving mother. An afternoon of outcry. A peek into the life of a celebrity ghostwriter. A witness to a monarch migration. And the friendship behind sushi’s arrival in the U.S. Our favorite reads of the week (and a bit of pickled ginger for after), chosen from all of our editors’ picks.

1. Amor Eterno

Skip Hollandsworth | Texas Monthly | May 8, 2023 | 7,580 words

Years from now, when I think about this story — which will happen, because it’s that good — I will hear, no, feel the pounding of feet. Skip Hollandsworth’s profile of Kimberly Mata-Rubio opens with the subject jogging through Uvalde, Texas, pausing at a mural of her daughter, Lexi. The scene echoes the moment when, immediately after learning that there had been a mass shooting at Robb Elementary School, Mata-Rubio began to run, barefoot over asphalt and through traffic, toward the building where her daughter was in the fourth grade, only to learn that Lexi was dead. “Kim could feel her feet throbbing,” Hollandsworth writes. “They were so bloodied and bruised she could barely walk.” A year after the massacre, the jog past Lexi’s mural is one of several ritual motions Mata-Rubio has adopted. She also goes to her daughter’s grave once, sometimes twice a day, never leaving Lexi alone for more than 24 hours, and regularly drives to the state Capitol to lobby for gun control. Mural, grave, Austin: Mata-Rubio goes and returns, again and again, like the tide. Other Uvalde parents do the same. Their patterns, like those of so many people who have lost loved ones in mass shootings, remind me of a Robert Frost poem: “The heart can think of no devotion / Greater than being shore to ocean / Holding the curve of one position / Counting an endless repetition.” How many more parents, children, spouses, friends will join this grieving army in their aching, unspeakable form of love? Will you be one of them? Will I? —SD

2. I’m F***ing Agitated, Are You Going to Murder Me?

Arielle Isack | n+1 | May 9, 2023 | 3,059 words

When Jordan Neely was killed on a New York City subway car last week, a special kind of ugliness broke the surface of our society. I don’t mean afterward, when columnists and commentators used Daniel Penny’s lethal chokehold as some kind of ideological litmus test. I mean the killing itself. At the time, it was hard for me to articulate what exactly that ugliness was, but Arielle Isack clearly had no such difficulty: Her searing piece for n+1, which chronicles a subway platform vigil-turned-demonstration, makes no secret of her anger and hurt, and is all the better for it. Isack manages to render events and emotions with equal clarity, even as her sentences careen headlong through the afternoon, propelled by their own power. “A man in a faded Saints cap and glasses that magnified his eyes into giant watery lakes wailed 450,000 EMPTY APARTMENTS IN NEW YORK CITY! a figure that arced over the commotion and landed in the very center of our rage,” she writes of one moment. “I heard that number again and again throughout the afternoon; it focused everything into a dizzying lucidity we were thankful for, and furious about.” This isn’t argument, it’s testimony. It’s catharsis even in the absence of redemption or justice. And above all, it’s a call to remember that agitation — the very thing that supposedly made Jordan Neely a threat — is sometimes the only possible human reaction. —PR

3. Notes from Prince Harry’s Ghostwriter

J.R. Moehringer | The New Yorker | May 8, 2023 | 6,850 words

In mid-January, you may have noticed a little memoir called Spare hit the shelves. (If you were perusing certain Spanish bookshops, you might have noticed it even earlier.) The accompanying giant roar of publicity meant that even if you didn’t read the book, you couldn’t escape Prince Harry’s tales of fisticuffs with his brother, behind-the-pub escapades, and even his frostbitten penis. While the stories may have been his, though, the words were distinctly collaborative — and in this fascinating essay, ghostwriter J.R. Moehringer illuminates what it’s like to write for somebody else. Yes, he talks about Harry stuff, but he also addresses his own writing career and struggles with the anonymity of ghostwriting (at one point screaming “Say my name!” at a TV in a B&B). I enjoyed Moehringer’s honesty, self-awareness, and thoughtful analysis of the particular psychology this sort of writing requires — as well as the tidbits of gossip about people who are hell to work with. Moehringer got lucky with Harry; they had the right chemistry, and the success of Spare has brought the art of ghostwriting out of the shadows. (If you want to read about Harry’s blink-and-you-miss-it appearance at King Charles III’s coronation last weekend, along with some joyful descriptions of hats, I recommend Helen Lewis’ wonderfully amusing “King Charles’ Very Hobbity Coronation” from The Atlantic.) —CW

4. Saving the Monarch Butterfly Migration

Romina Cenisio | Atmos | May 8, 2023 | 3,526 words

I once visited the butterfly garden at our local zoo. Witnessing so many of these colorful, delicate beings in person was a magical experience. The peace and tranquility in that space was palpable, something I wanted to bottle and release as needed. Romina Cenisio’s Atmos piece on the monarch butterfly migration recalls the singular joy that butterflies bring, along with critically important reminders of our role as humans to ensure the well-being of butterflies for generations to come. “As I lie on the ground with my eyes closed, a sound reminiscent of light rain surrounds me, subdues me,” she writes. “Yet unlike the steady drum of rain, the sound seems to move around from left to right, up and down, in both unison and disorder. At times a ticklish, ASMR sensation overcomes me as the sound gets closer, but no raindrops land on me. Opening my eyes moves me out of this gentle trance, reminding me that there is no rain; rather, there are millions of monarch butterflies shimmering overhead.” —KS

5. How Two Friends Sparked L.A.’s Sushi Obsession — and Changed the Way America Eats

Daniel Miller | Los Angeles Times | May 3, 2023 | 3,855 words

In 1965, Noritoshi Kanai and Harry Wolff Jr. were on a trip to Japan, looking for an interesting food product to import to the U.S. Instead, one of their dinners in Tokyo led them to another idea: sushi. Daniel Miller recounts how the two men brought the Japanese cuisine to Los Angeles, at a time when the city felt primed for something new. Which restauranteurs and chefs were the first to add sushi to their menus? When were the sushi bar and the California roll invented? Accompanied by lovely illustrations by Yuko Shimuzu, this is a fun piece of regional foodie history — one that ultimately explores whether food can truly bring different people and cultures together. —CLR

Audience Award

It’s time for the piece our readers loved most this week — and the oversized trophy goes to:

But in 2020, Choi received a phone call that challenged everything he remembered from that day. The girl, he learns, is alive. Or is she? As the truth unravels, Kim weaves a moving story of regret, the unreliability of memory, and the freedom from closure.

On a frigid day in December 2020, Huh and his team met with Choi at a chicken restaurant in Incheon, a port city west of Seoul. Over shots of soju, Choi began to tell them, at first a little cautiously, what he’d seen in Gwangju, eventually turning the topic to an incident that sounded familiar to Huh. “He told us that he’d saved a young girl and handed her off, but that she had probably been taken to a military camp and executed,” recalled Huh. “He had believed this version of events his entire life.”

This week we are featuring stories from Renata Brito and Felipe Dana, Jeff Weiss, Maddy Crowell, Stephen Rodrick, and David Jenkins.

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In today’s edition, our editors recommend:

• The tragic story behind one of the many boats that wash up to shore carrying the bodies of desperate migrants.
• A profile of a Southern California rap legend with an underappreciated talent.
• A glimpse into the life of a cybersecurity expert who rose to the top of her game.
• Time in class with an Indian guru who boasts nine million social media followers.
• The joy of soaking up the sights and sounds while walking in a desert.

1. Adrift

Renata Brito and Felipe Dana | The Associated Press | April 12, 2023 | 4,355 words

People call them “ghost boats,” the small vessels — at least seven in 2021 alone — that have washed up in the Caribbean and Brazil carrying dead bodies. The boats come from West Africa carrying desperate people bound for Europe via the Canary Islands, a complex, treacherous route. Somehow, somewhere the boats were forced off course and drifted out into the Atlantic, all but ensuring the deaths of the people on board. But who are those people? What are their stories? Who back home is missing them? This years-long investigation uses a handful of clues — a SIM card and scraps of clothing, for instance — to identify the dead found in one ghost boat in Tobago. Renata Brito and Felipe Dana do an impressive job situating a sensitive story about the impacts of global policies and politics within the framework of a mystery. A moving feature, and beautifully designed too. —SD

2. The (Un)holy Gospel of Suga Free

Jeff Weiss | Los Angeles Times | April 17, 2023 | 3,271 words

One of hip-hop’s greatest conflicts, and I’m speaking for myself here, lies in the pimp persona. Careers have been built around it. National sweethearts have leveraged it. (Looking at you, Martha Stewart’s best friend!) Undeniable artistry has flowed from it. But it remains deeply discomfiting, a strain of misogyny that you can never quite unhear. That paradox lurks deep inside Jeff Weiss’ profile of Southern California rap legend Suga Free, a man whose prodigious talent couldn’t guarantee quantitative success. Suga’s impact and influence are undeniable; every time you’ve heard a hustle-culture tech bro say “if you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready,” this is where it came from. But other than a few indelible (and NSFW) guest appearances here and there, he’s all but disappeared. For him to pop up in a feature-length profile — happy, healthy, and seemingly finally at peace with his life and his creativity — is an unanticipated joy. One of Weiss’ great gifts as a music writer is evoking the intangible aspects of an artist’s style, and here he manages a near-perfect characterization of Suga’s silky breakneck patter: “He didn’t rap, he glided like a swan at the Player’s Ball, inventing his own unquantized, improvised rhythms,” he writes. But Weiss also doesn’t shy away from confronting the outlook that suffused Suga’s lyrics, and gnaws even more insistently at the listener’s ears and brain 20 years later. That conflict never takes center stage, thankfully, but to ignore it would be equally contrived. And so it sits there, peeking out from Suga’s aphorisms and overstuffed closet. It’s part of the art and part of the artist. What it means for his legacy is for you to decide. —PR

3. The Hacker

Maddy Crowell | Columbia Journalism Review | April 17, 2023 | 4,553 words

If my observations of people and their digital habits are any indication, most tend to have poor security and password hygiene. I suspect I wouldn’t pay as much attention to computer security practices if it weren’t for my job inside a tech company. “Being hacked is not just a possibility but a likelihood,” says cybersecurity expert Runa Sandvik. Simply existing on the web comes with risks. In this piece for CJR, Maddy Crowell gives us a glimpse into Sandvik’s work and focus on internet privacy and freedom: She advises reporters and other individuals at risk, like activists and lawyers, on how to protect themselves and their data online. Growing up in Oslo’s hacking community in the 2000s, when privacy wasn’t yet a thing, Sandvik found a job in ethical hacking, and later fell into her niche as a privacy and security researcher. (Crowell recounts Sandvik’s brush with a guy who simply introduced himself as “Ed,” and would later go on to rock the very foundations of the surveillance state.) I appreciate Crowell’s look into Sandvik’s fascinating life, and her path to becoming one of the world’s top information security experts. —CLR

4. Inside the Temple of Sadhguru, the Internet’s Favourite Mystic

Stephen Rodrick | British GQ | April 11, 2023 | 5,892 words

I clearly don’t spend enough time perusing influencers on TikTok, because I had never heard of this Indian guru with more than nine million followers. Luckily, Stephen Rodrick’s editor did know of him, shipping Rodrick off to Sadhguru’s Inner Engineering class to learn more about the media-savvy mystic. Rodrick arrives at the center in McMinnville, Tennessee, with a healthy dose of skepticism (and contraband caffeine pills and prosciutto), so it is perhaps unsurprising that inner peace remains elusive. However, the guru’s oddly harsh approach and occasionally inaccurate statements seem worthy of Rodrick’s questioning. While a picture of a strange and stubborn man emerges, Rodrick also recognizes how Sadhguru’s language and tone “appeals equally to the TED talk crowd and the climate-anxious suburban parent.” Some of this crowd are with Rodrick at the center and the characters he describes and secret alliances he forms create a highly entertaining read, whether or not you’re convinced about the guru’s message — or even sure what it is. —CW

5. During a Pandemic, Walk

David Jenkins | High Country News | April 17, 2023 | 1,343 words

When I run or walk alone outdoors I almost always listen to music, a podcast, or an audiobook. In this thoughtful piece for High Country News, David Jenkins remarks upon passing a runner while on a 10-hour walk in western Colorado, the man’s ears “clogged with headphones.” The word clogged stopped me short. How true that even in solitary pursuits we compromise the peace we seek by inviting others’ words into our heads. “I puzzled over the need to listen to something other than wind and raven, the scuttle of a lizard, the skittering of small rocks underfoot,” he writes. Less is so much more, and while you’ll revel in soaking up every sight and sound the desert has to offer, the greatest beauty of Jenkins’ piece is that because he’s fully present during his walk, you can’t help but be, too. —KS

There is a YouTube video from around 1995 that goes viral just about every time someone posts it on social media. It’s alternately known as the Suga Free “Pen and Nickel” or “Kitchen Table” freestyle. Filmed with a handheld camera at a Compton dope house, Suga Free performs the rap equivalent of hitting a full court shot backward and following it up with a 720-degree slam dunk. Using a nickel as a kick drum, a pen as a hi-hat, Suga Free floats like he had never experienced gravity. He’s Gregory Hines in alligator shoes, Cab Calloway on a mission to make money with Minnie the Moocher. The voice pirouettes and crip walks, flows and bends like alien cadences from an advanced civilization where “Dolemite” is revered as sacred text. When Questlove posted the clip last month, the reactions were typical: thousands marveling at the level of difficulty, describing it as the pure essence of hip-hop creativity. Or as A$AP Ferg chimed in: “Unbelievable 🔥.”

Maybe Lawrence just loved mysteries and learned how to hone his fictions in Hollywood. Or maybe he really knew something about treasure. Either way, visiting Mt. Kokoweef hadn’t settled the matter.

Still, Lawrence had mapped 62 other locations scattered across the Americas that were potentially hiding vast riches.

But my hunt ended here.

Because there was a chance that knowing more of John D. Lawrence’s story might diminish it.

Better that his map retain its secrets.

Every week, we highlight our favorite stories in our weekly Longreads Top 5, and at year’s end we spend much of December reflecting on the pieces that most stuck with us. But our readers have long been a source of inspiration as well, sharing their favorite stories on social media with the #longreads hashtag and even emailing or DMing us recommendations. So last year we made the Longreads community part of our annual Best Of package, reaching out to them to see what stories they most enjoyed. We’re delighted to keep our newest tradition going, and to showcase eight gems from the year that our readers loved — along with their own words why.

A Black Woman’s Search for Her Place in White, White Vermont

Sheena Dare Romero | Delacorte Review | October 11, 2022 | 7,882 words

A moving study of the mutability of the idea of home; how the word itself can ring so differently from place to place. This piece has such an interesting take on race in America, both from afar — when the author spent time in Germany — and from deep within, at the snowbound confines of a university campus in the middle of Vermont. Romero deals with it in such a tactile, subtle way that I felt like I was coming to the subject completely fresh, feeling her confusion, hope, and frustration almost viscerally. —Rohan Kamicheril

Genuine Risk, Winning Colors, and Regret at the Kentucky Derby

Jamie Loftus | Gawker | May 24, 2022 | 2,550 words

Loftus’ essay is ostensibly about a sporting event, but ultimately, it’s a grotesque glimpse into the psyche of America at a particular point in time. Loftus’ roots are in comedy, so it’s also a darkly funny piece of writing, but it never loses its focus on the violence and excess of the event. When the essay came out, Loftus shared it on social media and joked, “please say no one has done this before,” obviously referencing Hunter S. Thompson’s “The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved.” This may draw the ire of MFA lit bros, but I’ll just say it; I like her essay better than Thompson’s. The description of the winning horse is chilling, beautiful, and unforgettable: “After he won, Rich Strike bit a pony over and over, taking what any underdog believes should be their reward, the flesh of their competitors and oppressors served raw. Instead, he got a slap to the face and a rumbling on Twitter, one almost immediately buried by Mother’s Day photos, which got buried by essays about How We Discuss Abuse, which got buried by news of three mass shootings.” —Krista Diamond

Krista Diamond’s essay “That Girl is Going to Get Herself Killed” was one of our most-read originals of 2022.

Why The Past 10 Years of American Life Have Been Uniquely Stupid

Jonathan Haidt | The Atlantic | October 11, 2022 | 8,362 words 

I’ve watched with growing horror how divided the U.S. has become, culminating in the January 6 insurrection. As someone who grew up in an age before the internet, it’s hard to understand how this happened. When I read this article, it seemed like everything fell into place. The Atlantic probably does the best job in all of the media in terms of covering the ramifications of social media on our society, and this was their best story of the year. —David Hirning

How Did This Man Think He Had the Right to Adopt This Baby?

Rozina Ali | New York Times Magazine | November 12, 2022 | 11,674 words

A harrowing, intimate story with incredible details. Most importantly, it connected one baby’s tragic journey with the biggest stakes of the U.S. in Afghanistan, a year after the withdrawal. — Jonathan Guyer

What White Men Say in Our Absence

Elaine Hsieh Chou | The Cut | March 24, 2022 | 2,625 words

I loved Elaine Hsieh Chou’s essay — it’s an unflinching, powerful examination of the writer’s experiences with racism and misogyny, and it speaks to the fear and rage felt by so many Asian American women, myself included. It confronts the cultural forces that continue to feed anti-Asian hate and reminds me of the power and ferocity of our collective voice. —Yuxi Lin

Yuxi Lin’s essay “Love Song to Costco” was also one of our most popular originals of 2022.

Family Membership

Christopher Soloman | Esquire | July 29, 2022 | 2,225 words

A lovely, and sometimes funny, story about a male friendship told narratively while shopping at Costco. — Monica Prelle

The Way We Lose Black Men Never Makes Sense. Losing My Father to COVID Is Another Example

Marissa Evans | Los Angeles Times | March 25, 2022 | 2,603 words

Marissa Evans’ essay, written in the thick of her grief after her father passed suddenly at the beginning of this year, is a time capsule of her father’s dreams, which included his children’s prosperity, a refreshed hairline, and something increasingly rare: living a long, healthy life as a Black man. As the life expectancy for Black men shrinks, we continue to witness even the monied and privileged among them leaving this earth too soon. Evans writes: “My father’s death, particularly as an older Black man, is considered an inevitability we must live with. I can accept my father’s death, but I refuse to accept that the number of Black men we are losing is normal.” —Ko Bragg

Look Who’s Stalking: The Black Leopards of Gloucestershire

Jem Bartholomew | The Economist | July 28th, 2022 | 4,795 words

This investigation into Britain’s big cat hunters is thoughtful, surprising, and, at turns, oddly touching. Jem Bartholomew’s adroit exposition of his subject, Frank Turnbridge, left a lasting effect on me. When reading this article, I felt like I was traipsing through woodlands and winding country roads with Frank and Jem, nervously anticipating the impossible. This is not an investigation into big cat hunters. It is an investigation into those obsessed with the ever-encroaching beast of urbanization. —Christian Hill 

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1. A Child Star at 7, in Prison at 22. Then She Vanished. What Happened to Lora Lee Michel?*

Stacy Perman | Los Angeles Times | May 19, 2022 | 10,548 words

Barbara Wright Isaacs has been looking for her sister, Lora Lee Michel, for nearly 55 years. What makes her disappearance particularly baffling: Lora Lee once had the eyes of the world on her. In the ’40s, she appeared in films alongside Humphrey Bogart, Glenn Ford, and Olivia de Havilland. So what happened? Stacy Perman finds out in this meticulously researched piece for the Los Angeles Times, brought to life with photos and film clips of the adorable, precocious child star. Beginning with the well-known half of Lora Lee’s life, the story races along at whip-cracking speed, twisting and turning, before culminating in a high-profile custody battle between Lora Lee’s biological and adoptive mother. When Lora Lee leaves Hollywood for Texas, aged 10, things become hazier, forcing Perman to resort to her own research. By tracking down dozens of individuals and public records, she finds, as she writes, “a woman lost in a maze of short marriages and perpetual misfortunes.” Perman takes Lora Lee’s sad tale back to Wright Isaacs. It’s not the story she had hoped for, but still closure on what happened to her sister. I was impressed by Perman’s dogged determination to find answers for this family — and more impressed that she did. —CW

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2. Two Weeks in Tehran

Azadeh Moaveni | London Review of Books | October 21, 2022 | 3,516 words

Over 200 people have been killed since September 16, 2022, when Iranians took to the streets to protest the death of Mahsa Amini, who died in suspicious circumstances after being detained for not wearing her hijab to government standards. In this piece at the London Review of Books, Azadeh Moaveni recounts a hastily erected government billboard depicting notable Iranian women, all wearing a hijab under the slogan, “Women of Our Land.” The billboard was removed just as quickly as it appeared after several of the women featured rebuked the government and demanded their images be removed. The government had gone so far as to feature Nooshin Jafari, a photojournalist currently serving a prison sentence for “insulting state sanctities.” Despite the short-lived government propaganda campaign and amid ongoing protests and clashes, change is happening in Iran. “Morality policing lies in ruins. No one knows what senior politicians are hearing from their wives, sisters and daughters, but never have the Islamic Republic’s political elite and its most dogmatic constituencies looked so divided at a time of crisis.” —KS

3. Eminem Found Himself in “Lose Yourself.” Will We Ever Let It Go?

Jake Kring-Schreifels | The Ringer | November 3, 2022 | 4,500 words

I really wish this piece had come out any other week. Days ago, Atlanta rapper Takeoff — who as a teen helped create Migos’ trendsetting triplet flow — was fatally shot at the tender age of 28. He’s the artist we should be discussing right now; he’s whose influential work we should be remembering. There have been some wonderful pieces already published praising him, and hopefully, the longform elegy he deserves will be published in the coming days. So it feels fraught, to say the least, to instead recommend this long Ringer feature detailing the creation and legacy of Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.” But anniversaries gonna anniversary, and if you thought The Ringer wasn’t going to commemorate the 20th birthday of Eight Mile and its soundtrack, you haven’t been paying attention. And truthfully, Jake Kring-Schreifels reported the hell out of this thing, tracing the song’s evolution from Eminem’s metanarrative writing approach to its Oscar-worthy musical construction, while also illustrating its seismic impact. We’ve heard it in sports arenas for 20 years now, and will likely be hearing it for at least another 20; until then, this is a fascinating look at how an anthem happens. —PR

4. Swamp Boy

Kris Newby | Now This and Epic Magazine | October 27, 2022 | 7,784 words

Fourteen-year-old Michael suddenly starts to experience inexplicable psychotic episodes. He tells his father he’s the son of the devil. He claims his tabby cat is possessed by demons. Believing he’s no longer human, he says he’s becoming “Swamp Thing,” a green monster on one of the posters on his wall. As his condition worsens, Michael is diagnosed with schizophrenia multiple times, but his father refuses to accept the diagnosis, believing that there could be another trigger to his son’s mysterious illness. In a riveting piece that’s illustrated with comic book art by Mado Peña, Kris Newby retells this family’s hellish 18-month journey to uncover the cause. —CLR

5. A Touch of Moss

Nikita Arora | Aeon | September 8, 2022 | 4,549 words

This beautiful essay is a letter of recommendation to go out and touch moss. Yes, the soft green stuff growing on walls and rocks and trees, patches and carpets that grow at a glacial pace, that harken back to an ancient, pre-human world. But Nikita Arora isn’t recommending that readers commune with moss because it’s good for the soul to connect with nature — that’s too pat, too easy. Rather, Arora urges a reimagining of what it means for humans to touch the world around us. “Touch” comes from toche, French for “blow” or “attack,” and as Arora elucidates, the ability to touch has often been an extension of power and its attendant violence. “Perhaps the apparent superficiality of touch is the fiction,” Arora writes. “The histories (colonial, racial, elitist) of human relationships with the nonhuman may have whitewashed and pigeonholed touch and its potential for radical reciprocity and for reckoning with the past and the present.” —SLD

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